For all of you daughter in laws who may be struggling in your relationships with your in laws. Let me share a special story with you. It's in loving memory of my Mother in law. I am not writing this to give you a bad out look or opinion of her. She was a very complicated woman and suffered from depression and had a very strange outlook on things. From day one she didn't approve of me, she didn't want Ronnie and I to be married, her reasons ranged from me being too young, to not liking my church, not thinking I was good enough for her son and the list goes on. This went on for years and in the beginning, it really hurt my feelings. I did everything to get her to like me but to no avail. In the beginning I made some poor choices, I talked about her, stayed away from her, and didn't care to try to keep unity there. (You may say "well then there was no union" I would argue that YES there was because I married her son and that is what unified us) As I got older I gave my life over to the Lord and started really going to church and letting God work on my heart. As I did this, things started to change, I started seeing her through eyes of love, mercy and started having compassion on her. I started talking to Ronnie and telling him that no matter her views on me, I was going to love her! I made it a point that we went to her house even though she NEVER came to ours. I made sure that we took the kids to see her and on Christmas and her birthdays I honored her not only because I was now saved and the Lord was working on me, but because she carried my husband in her womb and brought forth the love of my life. I started listening to her opinions even when I didn't agree and I learned to agree to disagree. As time went on, I could still feel her dislike for me but it didn't detour me because I stood firm on the word of God, not to return evil for evil but good for evil, I learned that darkness doesn't drive out darkness but light does, I learned to do unto others and I knew that one day I may have grand kids and great grand kids and I would want to see them so I made sure she seen hers. I learned to take my hurts to the Lord and leave them there.... sure it wasn't easy but the Lord helped me through it. I learned that when I wanted to quit to remember the scripture not to become weary in well doing so I pressed on. Well the years passed and she got very sick and had to be placed in a nursing home. We went to visit her and sent her cards, pics of the kids, and grand kids and continued to love and bless her. One day she fell so sick that we thought she was dying. I was very saddened and scared and didn't know what to do. So I asked her, "Lilly would you like Ronnie and I to pray for you?" Her response shocked me! She replied "No Carla I don't, since we don't believe the same I do not want you praying for me!" I was hurt but Ronnie was MAD!!! When we left he said "That's it, I can't take anymore, we are not going back. I knew that this would /could destroy what little time he had left with his Mother, so I told him no that I had asked her an honest question and she gave me an honest answer and that it was okay and that I wanted him to continue to go back but I would take a break, not because I was mad but because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. So another year went by and he would go see her. The time came when she was admitted to the hospital and really was dying this time. We all gathered around to say our goodbyes, then all of a sudden it was just Ronnie and I and then Ronnie had to go find a nurse and that left just me and her (AWKWARD), she had a tube down her throat and was not able to talk but she kept looking at me as if she wanted to say something........ I was bawling my eyes out because I knew she was dying and I had known her since I was 14 years old. I looked at her and with tears running down my cheeks, I looked at her and said "Lilly, I want you to know that I love you and she shook her head yes........ then I looked at her and I said "and I KNOW that you love me too" and once again she looked at me and shook her head yes.
There it was!!!!! All the years of just wanting this woman to love me.... I finally got it! My heart was so happy and excited and so full of love!
As I wrap up this story I want to explain to you that it was all GOD. It was HIS word!!! I lived the scriptures and it paid off! How wonderful the word of GOD is! It does work if we apply it! See it doesn't matter if you think people do you wrong...... it doesn't matter if people do or don't like you...... what matters is LOVE.... doing unto others......... not returning evil with evil. "Well they don't come to my house so I am not going to theirs"...... "well they don't like me and never have"........SO WHAT!!!
Live the word of God! God's word and his love changes people. It has changed me and in the end, this same love changed my Mother in law.
Think of how this story may have ended if I had acted differently. What if I had shunned her. What if I had kept disunity with her and kept a strained relationship between her and her son? How would it have ended? Would I have been able to stand by my husbands side at her funeral with a clear conscience? Would the rest of the family have wanted me there? Would my behavior have reflected that of a christian?
I love the way it ended because not only do I not have any regrets, I realize that I gave my husband the greatest gift a wife could give her husband.
Til this day we take flowers to her grave and I thank the Lord for an opportunity to live the word of God. Being doers and not just hearers only. You see when we have the truth and are given so much then much is required of us!
I did this for my mother in law and I will do this for you too and when I stand before my God I know he will be pleased.
R.I.P. Lilly Blanchard I still love you
